The Cursed Priestess
by TheOneThatSeesGNS
Summary: A Priestess of the Divines is in need of a cure for the curse inflicted upon her when she attempted to help a soul that couldn't be cleansed by her. Following the rule of the Divines, she is conflicted with her newfound self. Will she find the cure? Or will she be stuck as a beast, prevented from the afterlife? Can she learn to live with herself as she is now?
1. The Incident

_A traveller had come to the Temple in my home of Bruma. It was late eve, I was the only one in the main part of the Temple, my mother was asleep with my sister, she's still an infant. Father was down in another room of the Temple, tending to the ill and wounded. When the doors opened, I turned around and saw a man. His eyes were terrified, his clothing ragged and bloodstained, as well as several parts of his body. I assumed he was terribly injured, so I rushed towards him as he staggered in. I helped him to one of the benches. "What happened? Where are you hurt?" I asked, a healing spell readying in my hands. He looked to me, his eyes wide with fear, "I'm not hurt, but he is!" he exclaimed. "Who?" I asked, looking towards the door, expecting another traveller to come in. "I'll show you, follow me!" he spoke with urgency, and being the priestess I am, it is my duty to assist those in dire need of healing._

_I followed him out of the temple and into the night. Bruma, being the quiet city it is, the guards were very relaxed, and they often took many breaks during the night, especially since the war had finished, there was no reason to be fully alert. He left through the East gate, closest to the Temple, with me following in his steps. He led me into the wooded area outside of Bruma, its where a lot of the food comes from, lots of hunters make their living from it. We didn't go very far before the coppery smell of blood came to us, then the stains started appearing in the snow. They just got larger the further we went, like someone was staggering away from something. That's when I noticed the prints. Massive beast paw prints, heading the same direction the blood went, the blood no longer in puddles, but a streak now._

_I removed my eyes from the ground and looked ahead, and that's when I saw the maimed body of a man. He was no longer with us when we had arrived, I could do nothing. Nevertheless, I knelt beside him, the blood soaking into my robe at the knees. When I think back on that night, that was my biggest regret. My biggest mistake. The man who had lead me to his friend started sobbing, I assumed it was because he realised his friend was gone. What he said confused me a little, but those in grief say things. He had said, "I'm so sorry…" then his sobs started changing into whimpers, gradually becoming more… feral. I heard a thump behind me, so I turned and saw him on his knees, bent over on the ground, his hands supporting him._

_I went over towards him and I placed my hand on his shoulder, "Are you alright?" I had asked him, but instead of answering, he shoved me back, so I landed on my backside, my hands supporting me on either side of myself. "Stay away!" He yelled at me, but it sounded feral, beast like. Then I saw the hairs. Through the shredded cloth he wore, I saw black hair sprouting across his skin, underneath that I saw his flesh convulse before it too started changing. I could only stare in shock at what I witnessed. I couldn't move. One moment there was a man, the next there was a monster. It stood up from all fours, it could easily tower over the tallest man I knew. With its wolf like head reared back, it howled. A howl that shook my very being, and with it, I screamed. That was a mistake on my part, because immediately it's head snapped towards me. A clawed arm reared back, then struck me across my abdomen, causing me to fall back as I gasped out in pain. It then jumped over me, it's horrid face mere inches from my own, it's saliva dripping off of the sharp fangs and onto me._

_I thought I was done for, my blood already soaking through my robes, the beast over me, ready for the killing blow. I closed my eyes tightly, not wishing to see my end. I heard it intake a large breath before howling once more, its hot, reeking breath washing over me, ruffling my hair. Then, the weight was gone. I opened my eyes, seeing a tail swishing away from me. Slowly, I lifted my head to where the tail went, and I saw the beast chasing after an elk. As I watched, the beast and elk went further and further away before I could no longer see or hear them. My head fell back to the snow covered ground, and I gasped once more as the pain hit me. The worst of it being where I was struck. Looking down, I saw the blood leaving my body, and a wave of nausea hit when I saw the carnage left from the beast's claws, my flesh torn in jagged lines._

_I laid my head down once more, my arms feeling around the ground for something for me to bite onto. My fingers brushed against something, so I grabbed it, it was a stick, thicker than two of my fingers held together, quickly I placed it between my teeth, and I wheezed from the pain flaring up from the sudden movement. Knowing what I had to do, I moved my hands over the wounded area, and I tore the ruined cloth from myself, my teeth clamping around the stick as I muffled a groan of pain. I had to have full access or my magic would not work as well, and I could not sit up in my current state, the blood flow would increase then. I took a deep breath and held my hands over my torn flesh. I concentrated as much as I could, letting the healing spell flow into me. I could not heal myself fully, but I must do enough so I can make it back to the Temple. I prayed to each of the Divines as I laboured over myself, my magicka quickly draining. After what felt like an eternity, my arms dropped to my sides, my breath heavy and I was soaked in sweat. I spat the stick out of my mouth and glanced down. My wound had stopped bleeding for now, but I must hurry back._

_I struggled getting up before I finally managed to, using the trees as support. Then I started my slow trek back to Bruma. I prayed once more that help would find me before I collapsed. I came to the edge of the tree line, the city gate just in front of me. I let go of the tree I gripped onto and stepped forward, only for my legs to buckle underneath me, then I saw darkness._

_When I woke up, I was in the infirmary of the Temple, my mother and father above me, their hands glowing with healing spells as they spoke as one in prayer. I grimaced from a pounding headache, my throat parched. My mother was the first to notice me awake, her concentration on her spell broken, she immediately knelt beside me, both of her hands grasping mine. "Oh my darling girl, thank the Divines you're alright," she quietly spoke, resting her forehead on our entwined hands. My father doing the same on my other side. I opened my mouth to speak, only to cough from the dryness. My mother quickly grabbed a goblet of water, my father gently lifting my head up as she pressed the rim to my lips. I drank greedily, feeling as though I had not drunken anything in ages. _

_When I could speak, "w-what happened…?" I knew what had happened, but I hoped it was only a nightmare fuelled from my sleep. Deep down I knew it wasn't. "You were attacked by an animal… what were you doing outside the gates this late at night? You know how dangerous it is, thank Mara the guard found you, or you…" my father trailed off. The three of us knew what he left unsaid. I would've died. I looked down and saw my stomach healed, but where the gashes had been were now large, ugly, pink scars, jagged just as before. What I hadn't realised before were the new scars on my thighs, I hadn't felt pain there, everything else was overwhelmed with the largest of my wounds. Out of the corner or my eye, I glimpsed the same tone of pink as my other scars, and when I looked on both of my arms, I saw similar scars, both on my upper arms, where the beast had gripped onto me. _

_I startled slightly as a goblet filled with purple liquid was held to my mouth. I looked towards my mother, "sleeping drought, Lyr… it'll help with the shock." I nodded, and slowly drank the liquid. It tasted of mixed berries and staleness. When I finished, my limbs and head felt increasingly heavy, my eyelids drooping as the potion already started it's job. I hardly felt myself being lifted up and carried. The last thing I saw was the ceiling of my room and my blanket being draped over me. I didn't even realise a long night shirt was placed onto me when we reached my room._

_I didn't know this at the time, I had learned later, that my parents fully knew what had happened. They knew it wasn't just an animal that had attacked me, but a beast of Hircine. I didn't realise, as I was under the influence of the sleeping drought, that they had barred my room closed. I didn't realise, that as I slept, I had changed into a monster, that had control over myself. As I slept and the monster took over, it had destroyed my room in a fit of rage at not being able to be let out. My metal door had deep gouges in it from the beast's claws, yet it couldn't leave._

_Eventually, from what my parents had told me, they heard the beast tire itself out, then a thump as it fell to the ground in a heap of fur. When I woke up hours later, I was on the stone floor, my night clothes no longer intact or even on myself for that matter. I looked around, my room in ruins. My bed, once fluffy with furs and linen, torn apart, claw marks decorating the walls and the door, all of my books and shelves torn down, pages ripped and scattered. I started sobbing, as I curled up in the middle of the carnage. I sobbed for ages, and then my door opened and my father stepped in. His eyes wide in shock at what lay before him, yet also in knowing. He knelt beside me and brought myself into his lap, cradling me as he sat on the floor, like he would when I was a child. He explained to me what had happened, how I had been inflicted with the curse of Hircine. _

_My life was shattered as I realised that I had become a beast, a horrid monster, a wolf like creature like the one that had attacked me, the one that had inflicted me. I felt crushed, my parents were too. When the twin moons would fill, I would have to be imprisoned in my room, so I would not inflict the same curse upon others, so I would not tear apart the citizens I vowed to heal, as that dead man in the woods had been. That was months ago… I heard rumours of beasts in Skyrim, legendary heroes known as the Companions being inflicted as I have been… the people who had whispered the rumours always shook their heads in disbelief and carried on with their lives, but they always stuck to me… so I made my journey in search of a cure…_

Note: so… I've had this in my files for a while, and eh, I decided it'd be good to get some of my inspiration out. Yet another character of my many (heh… nearly 50) characters. woop XD


	2. Whiterun

_**22nd of First Seed, 4E 201**_

_**I've made it to Whiterun, thank the Divines I didn't die... There are so many wolves in Skyrim, huge packs of them. However, they didn't bother me, I suppose that's the only up side of this retched curse... if I remember my studies, I believe there's a temple here? I wonder, will it be as grand as the temples in Cyrodiil? I need to locate the temple...as well as the Hall of the Companions... I need to be rid of this curse, I can feel the beast. I hope it feels how much hate and resentment I feel towards it. I have been a loyal follower to the eight Divines all my life... why must I be cursed by a retched Daedric Prince, Hircine? That's why I depend on the cure... the kind barmaid has brought me my meal now, bless her soul...and the chef too... by the Gods that smells good.**_

I close my journal, my quill set aside, "thank you," I said to the Redguard woman, dipping my head in gratitude. I had not had a warm meal since I left Bruma. I moved my things to the side, placing the steaming bowl and platter in front of me. I had ordered whatever was freshest, so I didn't have an exact idea on what it'd be. Roasted leeks and cheese, my favourite, but the soup... I don't recognise it, must be a traditional Nordic recipe... it resembles a beef stew...? But the smell is all wrong, it smells more like boiled fish soup, but it doesn't look like it at all... I'll ask the barmaid when she next comes...I'll ask for her name too.

Shaking my head, I tentatively brought a spoonful of the mystery meat soup to my lips, gently blowing so as not to burn myself, I sipped up the broth before placing the chunk of meat into my mouth. Definitely not fish or beef, and not anything that I recognise... but by Mara did it taste divine.

After my meal, I pulled my journal over to me once more, reopening to the page I previously written in before dabbing my quill into my ink pot.

_**The food in Skyrim is amazing. It makes the meals back home seem under seasoned, true, back home they were also Nordic dishes, but not even remotely close to what I had just eaten here. Then again, it could be from the lack of proper food, I did only have a limited amount of rations that would keep fresh with me, tasteless jerky and bread. Or maybe it's simply the skills of whoever cooked it? I'm rambling over food when I should be asking for directions... **_

With that, I stood up, leaving my journal open. I grabbed a small satchel from my traveler's sack and filled it with a few preserved red and blue flowers, they are in abundance here in Skyrim, specifically along the paths, as well as some coins. If I'm to stop at the temple, I must leave an offering to the Divines to guide me on my way. I adjusted the satchel over my robes, which were a way of marking me a priestess of the Divines, grabbed my room key, then left and locked the door. It wouldn't do to have possessions stolen.

Outside my room, the inn started to become populated with the evening crowd, all of the seats claimed, even the posts holding up the ceiling were claimed from people leaning against them, drinking and laughing while the bard played a tune. I walked over to the bar, "I'm looking for the temple, where would that be?" I asked the innkeeper, keeping a tight grip on my satchel.

She raised an eyebrow, "Not many pilgrim to the temple nowadays, what with the old tree all shrivelled up. It's up in the Wind District, past the markets. You'll see it after you pass the tree, its to your left. To the right is the Companions' Hall, Jorrvaskr, if you're interested in work." I nodded and thanked her, then left the inn, lightly brushing past the other patrons. Outside, I breathed a sigh of relief, it was much too crowded inside the inn, but it reminded me of home, less refined of course.

The marketplace is exceedingly less crowded than when I had arrived earlier, only a few stragglers here and there, browsing the stalls of their wares, or just chatting with the stall owners. The innkeeper said to go past the marketplace, so I can't go back the way to the city gates, the only other way to go is up a flight of stairs, and I dread getting lost in this unfamiliar city. I steeled my nerves, and ascended the flight, coming into a circular section. In the middle a tree, bare of any leaves or even moss stood tall, yet disappointing to look at. Well, there's the tree she spoke of...now, turn left, I walked around the tree. My heart sank with disappointment when I saw what was the temple. I would have missed it entirely if it weren't for the shrines of Kynareth on either side of the door. It's an absolute pity the temple is so small, how must the proper tributes to the Divines be given if the temple is not even big enough to hold a crowd of devotees?

I shook my head and pushed my feelings aside. Perhaps it's not the custom here to have large temples. I pushed open the door and stepped inside. I could smell the scent of lavender and incense floating through the air. A priestess stepped forward, a surprised smile on her face, "Welcome, fellow Sister, to the temple of Kynareth. It's been so long since a fellow devotee has stepped into our temple." I smiled in relief, pleased that at least the customs inside the temple were more similar to Cyrodiilic customs.

"I am Sister Lyra of Bruma, I've come to pay tribute." I bowed my head, waiting for her to respond. "Welcome, Sister Lyra, I am Head Priestess Danica. Please, this way to pay your tribute," and with that, Danica led me towards the back of the temple. We passed a few cots, occupied by the wounded and ill, tended to by a priest. Danica stopped in front of the shrine, decorated with other offerings, lavender, septims, even a dagger, presumably from a warrior or hunter. I thanked her and knelt in front of the shrine, my hands clasped together with my head bowed.

'Oh holy Kynareth, hear my prayers if you grant it, I request the strength and bravery to aid me in my next trial. I fear that I am unworthy of your blessing due to what ails me, but my faith remains strong and true, should you accept my prayer.' I pray silently, my eyes closed, my hands still clasped.

After I've finished, I stood up, placing my offerings in front of the shrine, my hand lightly brushing against the cool metal, once my fingertips did though, a warmth spread up from the tips and into my whole being, leaving me feeling energised. I whispered a thank you to Kynareth for her blessing, and took my leave, nodding farewell to Danica and the other priest.

With the blessing, came more courage to aid me to venture forth and towards the Companions' Hall. The legendary home of the Companions. A massive boat, flipped so the underside faced towards the sky, rose in front of me, a building underneath it, clearly it's purpose serving as the roof. Shields decorated along the walls and the flipped boat, some looking ancient, while others looked newer. My guess being fallen comrades, each shield telling a story. I stopped in front of the door, the sound of merriment drifting through the wood, albeit muffled. I took a deep breath, and pulled open a door, thankful it didn't creak, and slipped inside, silently closing it behind me. A very large table sat in the middle of the room, three sides surrounding a large fire pit, the tabletop piled high in food.

A crowd gathered to my left, and from what I could hear, based on the sounds beyond the wall of people, and what the onlookers were shouting, no doubt a fight has started. I looked around, mentally face palming as I realised I didn't have a plan on how to ask for the cure. It would be unwise to reveal myself as a monster based on rumours alone. But I've come all the way here, so I cannot turn back around and head home to Bruma.

A man turned his head my way, his eyes narrowing as his face shifted into a deeper scowl, his nose wrinkling as if smelling something foul. His one eye silver and blinded, a scar running along the length from his brow, down to the middle of his cheek. I couldn't help but be intimidated by him, his form was huge compared to my own, not mentioning the large armour he wore, a massive sword strapped to his back. He started coming my way, his scowl turning into a threatening glare, causing me to back up, my back hitting the door. He stopped in front of me, towering over me, making me look up towards his fearsome face.

"You dare enter this hall, Beast? What gives you the right to come here," he all but snarled, yet his voice remained low, the others not even noticing him gone. Then my eyes widened and my heart skipped a few beats. He had called me a beast! That must mean he knew of my curse? Does he suffer as well? The rumours must be true! With that thought, my hopes soared, yet I couldn't speak, only stammer.

"I-... I-," my eyes trailed towards the crowd of people just yards away from us. His eyes narrowed, flicking towards the direction he came from. "Mind yourself," then he grabbed my wrist and led me away from the door, his grip like an iron cuff around my wrist, preventing me from anything but to follow his lead. He led me down a flight of stairs, and into a corridor, doors lining the walls. Presumably barracks? I didn't know, and I wouldn't know, he just led me further down the hall, as well as a few twists and turns before we came to a stop in front of a pair of double doors. He knocked, then stepped inside, dragging me along behind him.

"Harbinger. This beast dared come into our home," and with that he pushed me forward, causing me to stumble. In front of me, three men sat, one scowling, his arms crossed over his armour. The man next to him, larger, yet similar looking stared warily, but his posture showed friendliness. The last, an ageing man, stroking his beard looked me up and down, his gaze thoughtful. Then he gestured me closer, and I obeyed, falling to my knees in front of him, the Nords of Skyrim were more rash than those in Bruma, I must not ask for a fight, especially in a room with four warriors.

"Child, why have you come? It's ok, we know of your beast, for we share your curse," I felt his hand rest on my shoulder, and choosing to look up rather than continue staring at the ground. The man who brought me here scoffed at the word curse, and if I had looked, I'm sure his eyes would have rolled as well. Nevertheless, I nodded meekly.

"Y-yes...I've heard rumours, a-and I've came to s-seek a cure for my ailment, Sir..." I flushed when my jaw quivered, so I clenched my teeth together. The old man frowned, "Kodlak, my Child. As for a cure, I'm afraid that there isn't one. We knew this when we took on the curse, as did our Forebears before us. I'm sorry to disappoint you." His hand fell from my shoulder then, and I felt my heart drop. No cure? But there must be one! There has to be... I felt my eyes start to well up with tears, my gaze falling back to the floor.

"B-but there must be one, I d-didn't choose this curse! I've never wanted it! I don't wish to remain a monster and harm the citizens I heal and pray with, there must be a way to remove it!" My voice rose as my tears fell, my hands shaking. I did not care that I'm about to sob hysterically in front of them, my world has once more been shattered, like that night I received the curse. I've relied on the cure for so long. For so long, it's been the only thing keeping me going besides the guide of the Divines.

I felt a hand on each of my shoulders, I didn't look up at first, until he spoke again, "Child… sit with me, tell me how it happened…" I looked around, just then noticing that we were alone, the other three warriors, having left. I didn't even hear them leave. Slowly, I nodded and got to my feet. I sat in the chair Kodlak gestured to, across from him. My arms crossed themselves onto the table, then I rested my head on them, tears still staining my cheeks.

We sat in silence before I fully registered what Kodlak had said. "T-tell you… how I got the curse…?" I slowly asked, my gaze drifting up to his, his eyes full of patience and understanding for my curse and how I feel. Did he also not want this curse? I closed my eyes and breathed in when he nodded.

Letting out a slow and long sigh, I straightened myself back up, my hands resting in my lap, fidgeting with the soft fabric of my robes. I dreaded having to speak about that night, I've never revealed it to anyone. The only ones who knew were my parents and myself. I've always kept it to myself, out of fear of being driven from my home because of the monster. But I'm not home now. I sighed once more from my thoughts, then gathered my courage to begin my story, sending a quick prayer to the Divines, I started.

As I recounted the tale of that dreaded incident, I had to pause countless times due to the sobs racking my body, but I managed to finish strong. I kept a lot to myself, as I have never revealed so much before, let alone to a stranger. This must be how those who are unused to confessions to priests and priestesses feel when confessing sins, yet trusting enough to do so.

I finished, tears leaving my eyes, my gaze downward at my clenched hands resting on the table. I only looked up when Kodlak had placed his hand on top of my own, his eyes full of sorrow. I looked back down, shame washing over me. I'm here blubbering like a baby, and Kodlak, bless his cursed soul, for listening to me… he hadn't interrupted once during my story, even when I was wracked with cries and whimpers from my own misfortune.

"I'm sorry that happened to you…" he trailed off, and then I realised I never told him my name , and I flushed, wiping my tears away, "Lyra." I said quietly, and he continued, "Lyra… but seeing as you have the Beastblood, it would be unwise if you left on your own… seeing as you have no control of your inner beast, you're a danger to yourself and others." I looked down at my lap when he finished, fear starting to wash over me before being replaced by acceptance. If I am to die, it'll be for the safety and wellbeing of those around me.

"If I must die, let me pray first…" I stated solemnly, only to be startled from a loud fit of laughter from Kodlak, my head snapping up to stare at him in shock and confusion. How can one laugh at death? When he stopped, he had a grin on his face, "come now, Child, you have no reason to fear death in Jorrvaskr. I was meaning that you should stay here, learn to control the Beastblood, you'll be welcomed here." I stared in confusion, the Companions are warriors, fierce fighters.

I shook my head, "I am no warrior, Kodlak, I'm a priestess, a healer, I'm not even a proper mage. I don't belong with the Companions." I stated, still confused on why he'd even suggest I would be, especially since I wasn't meant to die by their hands for my curse. What is it that he's getting at? Surely he doesn't plan to train me as a warrior, I'd be a lost cause. I've never held a weapon in my life, and the only offensive spell I know is how to light a candle, which would never do any good in a fight, much less as a companion. Plus I had taken an oath of peace many years back, vowing to never fight and cause harm to others. I intend to keep that oath. I looked back up at Kodlak, immediately becoming flustered when I realised he had been speaking while I was lost in my thoughts.

"I-I apologise, Kodlak, I didn't catch what you said…" I muttered sheepishly, my face burning in embarrassment. He only smiled at me in return, and started over.

"I was saying that we, being the circle, can teach you how to control the Beastblood, in exchange you heal our brothers and sisters in arms when they become injured. If you are able to make potions as well, please do so. You'll have a bed here in Jorrvaskr, as well as meals." He finished, the way he had said it however, seemed more like an order rather than a request, his eyes clouded in an unreadable emotion. Slowly, I nodded, not really having a reason to argue. It would be nice not having to worry about harming innocents, as well as not having to pay for a room at the inn daily… I stood up, said a farewell to Kodlak, and started on my way.

"Don't tell anyone, Lyra." Kodlak called, momentarily causing my steps to stiffen before returning to normal. I wouldn't tell anyone, it'd be a risk to myself, as well as this… circle, Kodlak mentioned. I closed the doors behind me, and then stared ahead of myself. Well… this place doesn't seem _too _big, I shouldn't get lost. I started walking forward once more, trying to remember the exact way that massive Nord brought me. I need to learn everyone's names… and how to navigate through these halls, by the Gods, how big is this place?!

"Ow!" my thoughts were interrupted when I was knocked to the ground, a snicker sounding from above me. I rubbed my forehead and glanced up, seeing an Imperial woman, an apologetic smile on her face, a hand stretched out, "I'm sorry, didn't see you there," she said sheepishly as she helped me up, "Same here, I'm sorry…" I replied, my face heating up once more.

"Are you a new recruit here? I'm Ria, I'm new as well," she smiled and held her hand out. I tentatively shook her hand, giving a small smile of my own, still embarrassed for being lost in my thoughts enough to crash into this woman.

"I'm not exactly a recruit, I'm a healer, well, a priestess of the Divines really. I'm Lyra," I introduced myself, how many times will I be confused as a warrior I wonder? It's not like I look like one, or even remotely act as one. Maybe everyone who joins once was as common as I? Farmers and commoners the like? I shook my head out of my thoughts.

"Do you know the way out…? I'm sort of lost-" I mumbled the last bit embarrassingly, it wasn't like I meant to… I shouldn't be embarrassed… Ria grinned and nodded before grabbing my hand and started leading me, "Don't worry, I got lost here many times before. I admit, I still sometimes get a bit turned around, but I'm getting better, you will too." She sure is positive, I thought to myself, grinning, at least she isn't intimidating.

"So, what brings you here?" Ria asked, trying to start up a friendly conversation. "To Skyrim, or Jorrvaskr?" I asked tentatively, unsure how I should answer… I can't exactly tell her the truth, and I don't really have a plan on what to do here in Skyrim, seeing as my only goal was the cure… well, seeing as it would be nice not having to be locked up every time the moons filled, it would be worthwhile to stay to learn how to control the monster… and during then I could probably continue my priestly duties.

"Uh… I suppose just helping as much as I can, and if my place to help is here in Jorrvaskr, that's where I'll be. Healing when needed, but…" I trailed off and glanced to Ria, her amber eyes glancing at me when I had stopped talking, "I don't suppose there's a place for me to make potions here is there?" I hesitantly asked, feeling foolish as I doubt that they'd have one, but it didn't hurt to ask. I looked forward again, my eyes wandering the stone hall. I heard a muffled snicker and looked back to Ria, a hand over her mouth as she walked.

"Potion making? We're warriors, we don't exactly know that sort of thing," she looked back at me, laughter in her eyes, "no offence meant towards you of course. It'd be nice to have a healer around here, especially after a hard day's training, you know?" she faltered, "ah, I don't suppose you do… well, you're always welcome to watch, we train in the yard behind Jorrvaskr, every day." She grinned, her eyes gleaming with pride, like mine would when I'd take care of a citizen at the temple at home… she really enjoys being a Companion, I can tell.

"So Ria, why did you become a Companion?" I could feel her fill with pride beside me once the words left my mouth. "I've wanted to be a Companion since I was a little girl, I grew up on a farm not far from here you see, and some days if I sat on the stump at the edge of the field, I could see the mighty warriors walking along the path. I decided that I didn't want to live my life on a farm forever, I wanted to be a Companion. A hero, one where the bards will sing tales of me, saving a village. Of course I haven't done that yet, I haven't even gone on a job on my own yet, still training…" she finished sheepishly.

Before I could say something next, a red haired warrior, her face having three diagonal lines of war paint, stopped in front of us, following after her was the large, friendly seeming man from Kodlak's room. The woman, radiating confidence, said with a stern face, "Giant at Pelagia Farm. You're coming with," she said curtly to Ria, not even acknowledging me.

"Yes, Aela, I'll grab my sword and shield," Ria nodded, her voice leaking with her barely concealed excitement. With that, the two warriors nodded in agreement and left back the way they came. Then Ria turned to me, smiling apologetically, "well, duty calls…" she turned before stopping and turning back around, "you're almost there, the door to the main hall is just ahead, last door on the left. Bye!" She waved enthusiastically and grinned as she took off down the hall, turning a corner into a room. I waved awkwardly after her, before following her directions. Surprisingly, it really was just a little further.

Back at my room in the inn, I gather my belongs back into my large brown satchel, my prayer beads of the Eight, a few books about the Divines and their trials and blessings, as well as clothing. I had run out of food supplies right before I managed to make it to Whiterun, but it didn't matter too much, as I still had a goodly amount of gold to survive. My journal placed safely back in my pack, the quill I used earlier going back into its own little case of quills, as well as the inkwell, the stopper on of course, back into its casing too. Checking to make sure I had everything I came with, I check out of the inn and make my way back to the home of the Companions. Perhaps, given that I am fully accepted, which unfortunately I don't think is possible, due to me not being a warrior and knowing a secret about the warriors, I should see about assistance being lent to the Temple. The tree, the Gildergreen, needs healing.

With much hesitance, I re-enter the hall, beginning a new chapter of my life. I pray to each of the Divines for continued guidance to allow me to push through this task and to keep my faith strong. I hope to rejoin my family in Bruma again, if not cleansed of the curse, at least in control of it.

Note: welp, added a bit more to this, it's actually been sitting collecting dust in my files for a while…. Oops

THANK YOU to the guest who pointed out the glitch of this chapter!


	3. Training

_I exit the chapel's undercroft, having finished the duty of laying an elderly man to rest. It is nearly high noon, and the chapel is full of the citizens of Bruma. As one, they rise and turn to face me. I smile at them, but it falters as I see the looks of hatred and fear on their faces. _

"_Monster!"_

"_Kill it!"_

"_By the gods, a beast!"_

"_Don't let it get away!"_

"_Die filthy beast!"_

_The hateful cries start, and don't stop, mingling together, the volume rising until it surrounded me. I close my eyes fearfully, clamping my hands to my ears in hope to block out the sound, but my ears are no longer mine, and claws dig into my fur. I reopen my eyes and look down, seeing the brown furred body of a monster. I let out a scream of terror, but a howl comes out of my jaw._

_A hammer from a carpenter slams into the side of my head, dazing me as I stumble to the side, my beastly arms holding me up. I let out whimpers as I turn to try to flee, but the exit is blocked by the guards, their bows and swords at the ready to end me. Then, the mob is upon me, fear and pain all I can feel._

I awake with a startle, the darkness of the room surrounding me. Feeling crushed by the weight of the gloom, I manage to light a candle, my heart still pounding with fear from my nightmare. I have never suffered one so vividly. I fear being away from the chapel this long has diminished my connection to the Divines. I stumble out of bed and to my pack, pulling out prayer beads.

"Oh sweet Divines, have mercy on me, I beg of you. I only desire to help the people of Nirn. Please, allow me a safe haven once more, in this room. Lord Akatosh, may my time in this cold and harsh land be blessed. Lord Arkay, may my life continue on to allow the people worship and guidance. Lady Dibella, please allow my prayers to reach you. Lord Julianos, please guide me with your wisdom through these troubling times. Lady Kynareth, may the air continue to enter me so I may continue my calling. Lady Mara, allow me to continue my compassion for the people of this land. Stendarr, please have mercy upon my damned soul. Lord Zenithar, my work is not yet finished."

Feeling more calm after my prayers being sent to the Divines, I exhale shakily and I wipe the few tears from my eyes. Just a few more hours and I can work on adding proper shrines to this room, so I may sleep without such horrid nightmares, for I fear they may continue to worsen the longer I am separated from the Gods.

I climb back into bed, the beads still clutched in my hand. I bring them to my chest, and pray for sleep to rejoin me, and after some time, I am granted my wish, as I slip off to sleep once more. Dreamless.

I awake to a knock at my door, "just a moment please," I call as I hastily change out of my nightclothes and into my priestess robes, the thick fabric fitting snugly to my frame. I slip on a simple pair of shoes, and open my door. A gleaming steel chest-plate greets me, causing me to tilt my head back to meet the gaze of one of the warriors from Harbinger Kodlak's room.

"Skjor told me to fetch you for Kodlak. He didn't say what for."

"That is quite alright Sir Knight, I am able to see Harbinger Kodlak now."

He laughs, his head tilted back as a hand comes to his stomach, "Sir Knight? I'm a companion, not a knight. There are no knights in Skyrim. I'd ask my brother Vilkas to be sure though, he should know for sure. You don't have to be so fancy either, I'm Farkas," he finishes with a slap on my shoulder, causing me to stumble a little, as he is as strong as he looks. He sheepishly mumbles an apology and begins leading me back to Harbinger Kodlak's room. I admit, I am a little embarrassed about assuming him, Farkas, to be a knight, but I'm glad he didn't take offence as some would.

"See ya around," Farkas waved, as he turned and headed down the hallway, leaving me outside the Harbinger's room. I meekly knock, as the last time I had seen the elderly man, I had broken down in front of him. I hear him grant me entry into his quarters, and shyly enter, closing the door quietly behind me. "I was told you wished to see me, Harbinger?" My hands wringing in the fabric of my pale peach robes.

Kodlak set his quill down, my eyes straying to the open book in front of him, the ink drying. "Seeing as you'll be the Companions' healer, I'm sure you've noticed by now that we don't have the proper equipment for you to do that, and we can't have you wandering the city in search of a station that'll let you do your job. So I've sent Vilkas to go purchase some, and they'll be installed into the room across from yours. I've also let Aela know that on her hunts to bring back some alchemy ingredients." he pauses, his gaze directed at my fumbling hands, "no need to be so nervous child, speak your mind."

I quickly nod, "I need some shrines to the Divines with me, I fear I will be unable to do my duty properly without a connection to the gods for guidance." He strokes his beard, curiosity in his eyes as he leans back leisurely in his chair, "Imperial pantheon or Nordic?" That simple question had me stumped. Is there not just the eight Divines? Which pantheon is the one I know? I've never heard of the Nordic pantheon, nor the Imperial one. I've only known the Divines.

"Could you please elaborate, Sir…? Is there not just the eight Divines?" I humbly ask, sounding foolish to my own ears. A priestess not knowing the gods. Shameful.

"Imperial then. The Nordic pantheon has Shor, Kyne, and Tsun, to name a few. Most of Skyrim prays to them, as well as a few of the Gods from the Imperial pantheon that you follow. I figured with you being a kinsman, a Nord, that you'd know your people's gods, but it is not always the case. You grew up in Cyrodiil, where they taught you their gods. No need to be embarrassed, you're still in your youth, and you came from a sheltered life," Kodlak smiles warmly, dousing some of my shame at being so ignorant.

"The shrines will be installed into your room, but for now, you're to get settled in, tonight you'll begin your training of controlling the Beastblood with Skjor. Also, I recommend getting to know Tilma, she's been around just a little longer than I have, she can tell you all you need to know about the companions. She's usually in the kitchens upstairs in the main hall. Just follow the smell of food being prepared."

Being dismissed, I bowed before turning on my heel, closing the door behind me once more. Follow the smell of food, and I'll find Tilma. I hope she isn't as intimidating as the Warriors, but seeing as this is Skyrim, the chances of that are low… not to mention I have to prepare for what is to come tonight.

_**23rd of First Seed, 4E 201**_

_**Tilma is such a darling old woman. I've learned much from her, and I've been assisting her with her cleaning and cooking. I believe I've found at least one dear friend in this province. She may be elderly, but she's as healthy as a bear. I've learned that the twins, Farkas and Vilkas, joined the companions as young boys, and that Farkas is a people's person, while Vilkas is a book's person. Aela and Skjor have an off and on relationship together, pity Mara has not blessed them with marriage as of yet, but they seem happy. Well, not really happy, but rough around the edges, sweet to Tilma. Everyone is. Tilma has a fresh batch of sweetrolls and apple dumplings in the cooking furnace, and she shooed me away when she started cleaning up while they baked. So I decided to write a bit before it's time to bring the food out for the evening meal. I'm dreading what is to come after the meal though… I'll have to be trained by Skjor to control this damnable curse, but I have no idea what is to come, but I pray that the Divines guide me. Besides that, I've heard that my new stations have been brought to the room across from mine, I'll have a check later tonight, hopefully after the training. I haven't heard if the shrines had made it to my room as of yet, but I don't believe they have. It's not like people have spare shrines laying about. I hope it doesn't take too long for them to be commissioned, as I fear my daily and nightly prayers will not prevent my nightmares. Perhaps, with the training, I'll be taught how to prevent the night terrors? Food dishes are starting to finish, I must go to help Tilma.**_

"Tilma? Do you want me to start dishing up the food to be brought out to the main hall?" I asked, my journal set aside while the ink dried. The elderly woman glanced up from the washbasin she stationed herself at to wash the dirtied dishes, a gentle smile coming to her face.

"That would be helpful dear, set the dishes on a platter to make it easier to carry them out, it's nearly time to serve them. Would you mind also setting up the casks of mead? Set the tankards to the side of them once you do." With a duty given, I start doing as asked, placing baked potatoes, grilled leaks, an assortment of elk meat from haunches to strips, all cooked and seasoned, onto a large silver platter. Then, with all of the platters set up and ready to be brought out once Tilma finished cleaning the dishes, I started moving the barrels full of alcoholic beverages out to the main hall, setting them up around the large table, as well as some on the smaller tables, so everywhere there was a source of drink to be in reach. Then I go back to the kitchen and help Tilma carry out the platters full of steaming, freshly cooked food.

Before I realised it, the evening meal was already over and done with, the dishes and cleaning all finished. Which meant I had to proceed with my first training… I pray and hope that I do not have to face anything too gruelling, such as hard labour. My priestly duties rarely called for such tasks, so I am unfamiliar with much related to physical strength or endurance. Exiting the kitchen, I spot Farkas observing a drinking contest between a blonde, bearded Nord, and a scrawny Dark Elf, sporting some fading bruising to the face. Meekly walking toward the large warrior and drunk companions, I slightly bow, old customs are hard to break.

"Excuse me, Farkas, do you know where Skjor is? Harbinger Kodlak told me to speak with him."

He raises an eyebrow as he turns to face me, "Skjor is in the training yard out back. I'll never get used to your fancy talk, Lyra. Not many in Skyrim do it. Especially here in Whiterun." His head nods to the back doors when he mentioned where Skjor is, before shaking his head in mild humour at the way I speak, causing my face to heat up. Parting ways with a haste thank you, I walk out the back doors and into the crisp night air, my breath fogging up in front of me as I exhale. With it being spring, the sky is still darkened early. The stars above shined brightly, the moons waning, nearly becoming fully dark, so the night isn't well lit besides the lanterns burning and the starlight.

"Took you long enough to get out here," a voice that came from the left made my hand fly up to my chest as I gasped.

"By the gods, you scared me, I didn't notice you there." Ignoring his scoff at my first statement, I continued, "I was told that I am to be trained? What will we be doing? Where? I don't think out here would be appropriate… what if someone sees? Or, by Stendarr's mercy, someone gets hurt? What then?" He puts a gauntleted hand up, making me trail off in my questioning worries.

"First, you talk to much. Second, I'm not an idiot, we won't be training out here. Third, you need to keep your mouth shut and just listen to me, unless you have something actually meaningful to say that isn't just nonsense questions or worries," stepping away from the wall, he starts heading out from under the sheltered area and to the training yard, gruffly beckoning me to follow, then he made a left to the path that led back out front, before stopping next a wall of stone. Without saying a word, he glanced at me, as he slid his hand into a crevice. When he did so, a muffled grinding sound, of stone on stone, and a click was heard, before a hole with a tunnel into the stone cliff face opened up.

"Keep up. Watch your step, I don't want you stumbling onto me."

"How can you see? It's impossibly dark in here…" I mumbled under my breath, my hand holding onto the wall as I followed him deeper into the tunnel, the ground sloping slightly under our feet, thankfully dry or else the stone would be even more difficult to tread on if it were to be wet and slick. Before too much time passed, we enter a very dimly lit room, a large ornate basin in the middle of the room. Small pedestals lining against the left side of the room, all empty. I open my mouth to question where we were, but I'm cut off, and my question is answered.

"This is the underforge. It's where we will be doing some of your training, the more minor bits. Now, to start. Your robes, off and put them aside," he raises a brow as I begin to object, "or would you rather have them in shreds when you leave here?" Deciding that it wouldn't do well if I left this, underforge, in tattered clothing in the chilly night, I turn away and go to a corner.

"Do you mind turning away?" my seemingly normal and sensible question got an answer of him rolling his eyes while he turned away, muttering about how the Beastblood is a prideful power that should be relished in, not hated, and the ritual of changing into the wolf form willingly is especially invigorating. Ignoring him, I undress reluctantly, not enjoying being in the nude in the cold of the cave, as well as being alone with a man. I whisper my prayers to the Divines that this will go well, and not end too badly as I turn, my still warm robes clutched to my front to cover my modesty.

"I-I've undressed, what will happen next?" as soon as the words left my lips, he faces me, an almost feral grin on his face as he starts undoing his armour. Fear overrides my senses as I back up against the terribly freezing stone wall as the worst comes to mind.

"Now, you get to see what you've been suppressing," he states, my eyes staring at the wall directly behind him to avoid my gaze coming in contact with his body. I flinch when loud popping sounds starts, coming directly from him, and my gaze shifts, his limbs and torso morphing into an inhuman monster. Endless prayers leave me, my hands gripping very tightly to the fabric of my robe as the stone wall scraped my back from the pressure of my body being pressed against it.

Shaking like a young child that woke from a nightmare, I stare in horror as the man changes, reminding me of how I contracted this curse, yet, I cannot look away for fear of being attacked. I can not outrun the beast if I tried, if there was even a way of escape, the entrance to the tunnel we had entered through had slid shut behind us. I am trapped in a confined space with an unnatural being, oh sweet Divines, guide me through this. Preparing for the attack, I shut my eyes.

The cavern is pierced with a howling roar, then silence, as I prepare for pain. Nothing comes, and when I'm about to peek my eyes open to receive answers, my stomach clenches in an agonising knot, and I hunch over in pain, crying out from the familiar intensity. No. No no no no. The moons are not yet at their fullness, I should not be suffering from the change. I cannot.

"What did… what did you do to me?" I force out between my clenched teeth, already painfully changing to sharp points. A beastly growl is my answer, my crumpled robes falling from my hands as my fingers curl in before stretching and changing into beastly hands, as are the rest of my limbs. Thick hair starts covering my deformed body as I become the beast.

"I beg your… forgiveness, oh mighty Divines…" I whisper, my words barely recognisable as speech due to the half formed muzzle of a beast being in its place, my consciousness starting to fade.

Silver eyes, one blind and scarred, stare with interest and disappointment as the small priestess in front of him suppresses her calling. He senses the wolf spirit in her begging to be in harmony and to be in contact with another of its kind. The air is thick with her fear as her body changes into that of a wolf. Not even the full form such as his, where he retains his bipedal stance, hers a quadruped, a mere animal compared to him. Of course, significantly larger than the feral beasts of the wilds. The transformation is nearly complete. Given that it is a forced change that is unaccepted by the woman, instead of a natural one - still no less unaccepted - the form is of this pitiful creature rather than his own figure.

A large wolf with thick, fawn coloured fur, stood panting before him, easily towered over with his height in his Beast form. Taking a step forward, his large claws scraping against the stone caused the wolf to look up in startled interest, knowing exactly what he is, even without having ever seen another or her kind before with her own eyes. As her eyes finish examining himself, he sees them glance to the path behind him, leading to the plains of Whiterun, carrying the scent of stags, hares, and farmers. Her eyes dilate, her nose inhaling deeply, her prey drive strong. A good sign, she is strong spirited, but she has no control.

The large silver furred wolf lets out a rumbling growl as a warning, the smaller female glancing warily, trying to edge around the stone cave towards the opening. Within a few moments, the small wolf attempted an escape, only to be swatted by a large clawed hand against the stone wall in a sprawl of fur and limbs. The yelp from when the beastly hand made contact echoed, before being replaced with muffled whines as the female readjusted herself to her feet, fur ruffled and messed, a submissive snarl on her muzzle, her ears flattened back, as she lowered her rear and arched her back in submission, tail tucked tightly between her legs. She finally figured out that he is not just a mere being that is better than herself, he is the one in charge.

When Kodlak had stepped down as the pack leader - even though he is still the Companions leader - Skjor had taken his place. For good reason. Besides being massive in stature, he had the qualities of a natural alpha; confidence, strategy, experienced, and he fully accepted the Beastblood as a gift.

He refocused his attention on the submitting she-wolf, approving that she knew her place. The lowest rank, not even a part of the pack. He huffed when he figured that she would be in the foreseeable future if their training went well. Only if she accepted the Beastblood, of not, she's on her own as soon as she controls the Blood like the others can. He steps toward the still submissive wolf, inhaling the scent worry starting to ebb off of the beast like steam. Time to start the actual training of teaching the wolf half of the priestess. If she liked it or not.

Note: Thank you for reading and reviewing. As a disclaimer, writing is only a hobby, as I do have a life outside of this story. Thank you for your patience. I'll start writing the next chapter whenever I'm able to, this chapter took a long while, as I'd write a bit, take a break for however long, write more, etc. And this is a shorter chapter than usual…. but I figured this was a good place to end it at. I am taking some creative liberties at some of the Lore that isn't very specific.


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